Twinkle in her eyes
Through ages or through thick & thin
Through ecstasy or deep pain within
Longing freedom from success and failure
Through past, future and present therein,
Looking at that,
Twinkle in her eyes.

Through senses known or unknown
Through commitments met or blown
Groping about the courage that matters
Through emotions Obscure or fully shown,
Looking at that,
Twinkle in her eyes.

Through actions light or strong
Through what’s gained or what’s gone
Paving the way for all others
Through deeds right or wrong
Looking at that,
Twinkle in her eyes.

No fear of losing
No ecstasy of getting
No expectations from you dear
No complaints whatsoever
No feeling of heaviness
No desire of lighter moments
No responsibility eschewed
No sigh to throw in air
No words to thank and really
No words to apologize
For I know it was His will and Again His ordeal that
I would have only one life………

Unknowingly Yours (2)

Seasons some mirthful some full of pain
Reasons some so true some with disdain
Never occurred to me, this volatile it is,
Tried, ran after, caught, fumbled; in vain.

Choices some distressing yet so unmatched
Voices some soothing some so detached
Never occurred to me, this ductile it is Poignant, misty and never attached.

Stories some told some remain untold
Moments some shared some so unfold
Never occurred to me, this slippery it is,
Came, passed by but couldn’t be on hold.

मत बैरी बन मेरी प्रज्ञा तू ,

चंचल मन से क्यों द्वन्द करे।

कुछ सुना कुछ कहा नहीं ,

कुछ थमा कुछ मिला नहीं,

कुछ किया कुछ निभा नहीं,

कुछ ढूँढ़ा कुछ दिखा नहीं,

यादों के इन चौराहों पर तू,

चाल अभी क्यों मंद करे ।

चंचल मन से क्यों द्वन्द करे।

जो समझा वो रुका नहीं,

जो अपना वो झुका नहीं,

जो संग चले वो साथ नहीं,

जो उमंग मिली वो बात नहीं,

सपनों पर किसका जोर रहा पर

इनको क्यों न स्वछन्द करे।

चंचल मन से क्यों द्वन्द करे।

मत बैरी बन मेरी प्रज्ञा तू,

चंचल मन से क्यों द्वन्द करे।

स्तब्ध हूँ,

उग्र नहीं पर व्यग्र अवश्य,

समय पर,

किचिंत नहीं,अभ्यस्त हूँ,

स्तब्ध हूँ।

अनुभवी नहीं कुछ अनुभव अवश्य,

सपनों का,

कदाचित यूँ हीं, व्यस्त हूँ,

स्तब्ध हूँ।

निर्मोही नहीं कुछ मोह अवश्य,

जीवन से, फिर भी

कुछ बोझ से,पस्त हूँ,

स्तब्ध हूँ।

Kaisa pass aur kitna door ,
Sub such mein bahana hai
Thora thora sabko nibhana hai.

Kya sab paya kya kuch khoya
Kyon yaad karun
Mujh se jisko jo thour mile
Wo baat karun
Samay se larne ki nishphal koshish
Karte jaana hai
Thora thora sabko nibhana hai.

Kya bolun kya maun sametun
Kuch khabar nahi
Athak safar ko kaise baatun
Ab sabar nahi
Umra se lambi in sarkon par phirbhi
Karvan chalana hai
Thora thora sabko nibhana hai.

तुमको कुछ शिकायत और
कुछ भ्रम मुझको रहने दो,
तुम कुछ चुप चुप से रहो और
मुझको यों चुप रहने दो ।

समय के साथ बस कभी
यादें न कुछ बहने पायें,
सब जाये पर आँखों में कुछ
बाँतें फिर भी रहने पायें,
कुछ तुम रख लो धीमे से और
कुछ मुझको भी रख लेने दो।
तुमको कुछ शिकायत और
कुछ भ्रम मुझको रहने दो ।

कोई रंग कभी चढे तो चढे
ये रंग न कभी उतरने पाये,
हर ढंग में यों बढें तो बढें
ये ढंग न कभी बिखरने पाये,
कुछ तुम परखो जीवन को और
कुछ मुझे भी परख लेने दो।
तुम कुछ चुप चुप से रहो और
मुझको यों चुप रहने दो ।

तुमको कुछ शिकायत और
कुछ भ्रम मुझको रहने दो,
तुम कुछ चुप चुप से रहो और
मुझको यों चुप रहने दो ।

Au Revoir Haldwani

Au Revoir Haldwani, a place which

Saw my kids grow into a boy & a girl

Saw my father leaving for eternity

Saw my black curls turn grey

Saw my anger getting mellowed considerably

Saw me come in thirties and push me in forties

Saw my better half turn pretty to pretty cum responsible

Saw me believe that bitter sometime may well be better

Saw me understand what one sees is how they are and

Not necessarily what they are

Saw me understand that nothing is more fragile than time

Saw me know not everything that glitters is indeed gold

Saw me understand why humans behave differently to

Old memories and to old dimes

Saw me firmly believe that all humans are from the same race

Saw me fully know up to my fingertips that

Even if no one is with you,

HE up there is always with u

Saw me understand that there may be

Some blessing in disguise for everyone

Saw me prove wrong that u can change your basic elements,

You might sharpen, modify or control them to act as u desire but,

just can’t change them altogether

And yes,

Saw me really know that its only one life, man!

They say “your ordeal” Oh! Yes perfect when it’s theirs. When talking of mine, it is yet to come. And believe me, I have most determinedly, consistently, persistently and vigorously been waiting for that. Even after 30 odd years, I am raring to wait even for years to come; just wait. Act of waiting is erroneously making me patient (no other way) and biblical meaning of patience says – the quality or virtue of patience as either forbearance or endurance. In the former sense it is a quality of self-restraint or not giving way to anger, even in the case of provocation; it is attributed to both God and man and closely related to mercy and compassion. So, when I am jealous of my friends’ ordeal, I am kind enough to be waiting for mine, and thereby seeking those biblical virtues. This also ensures no trespassing of “KARMA”, doesn’t it.

5 years after we passed out of college, when Sri (No, Not SIRI I don’t use apple) a foreigner friend of mine and my balcony mate in hostel called me and said, “ what the heck are you doing there man” I was able to swindle him somehow. Hey ! Sri, its your ‘Karma’ which is making you do good there and its my (Non)‘Karma’ making me become virtuously patient  for good. ‘ Karma’ is an ethos of life here and I am a true countryman up to my fingertips.

See you next time and good night.

With all the repentance for things that I ought to have done but couldn’t do in life and maximum malice & jealousy towards all my friends who pipped me all through, I foray in  blogging myself on the occasion of successful 10 years of blogging of a friend of mine. I have been thinking of congratulating him for the last 6 months but couldn’t muster enough inner strength and smallest possible word for this.

              As a quadragenarian, I have nurtured all the ‘good’ feelings and now find this platform technologically and opportunistically perfect to vent them out to all with no partiality at all. I am honest enough to say that I have not let these feelings mellowed even the smallest bit for the last 30 years since I came out of college.

              Now, since I have decided to break the ice, let us all share all the exasperation we have accumulated over the gone by years of our lives with no commitments and all excuses. Let’s us not spare a tiniest bit of ill feelings deter us from saying all we wanted to say in the best cultured way we can.

See you next time. Good Night.